Krystina’s testimony

Picture_353My name is Krystina, I’m 32 years old. I am the mother of 3 beautiful children, Amber 12 , Dylan 8, and Johnathan 6. My drug of choice is meth. I started using at 12, ,I was connected to some drug dealers that showed me the reaps, it was all fast track from there. At the age 16 I was gang raped by 7 guys, I was a virgin and they beat and raped me for approx. 13 hours I told no one other than my best friend who found me. After this my use became greater to try and numb the pain and fear. At the age of 17 I went to prison for a violent crime tried as an adult I did a year and a half in prison and six months in a mental institution I used drugs the whole time is was in prison and as soon as I got out I was back to the same old thing. soon after I had my daughter after she was born I used again up until I got pregnant with my son stayed clean long enough to give berth and began using again just before Dylan’s 2nd birthday I got arrested for drug trafficking, my kids were taken I was released without any conviction but still couldn’t have my kids back, a short time after Dylan wad diagnosed with cancer, I was there for him but I couldn’t stop using. At the same time I found out I was pregnant again. This time I couldn’t get clean long enough to have my baby so I used the whole pregnancy. By the grace of god they didn’t take him from me. When john was 1 in 2004 I was in a motel had a bunch of people there all night and a pocket full of dope and as I looked around I realized that I just wanted to die I needed to get out of this life and death was the only way , I called my sons dad and told him to get the baby and take care of him he caught on and got me into a drug rehab, I had done so much dope that I had to be hospitalized for a week I couldn’t eat I couldn’t hold my bowls or urine my whole body was shutting down because it didn’t know how to function without drugs. I stayed clean 3 years and had a relapse Jan 08 I was out for 4 months and it was like I never stopped. I ended up in another rehab and started doing the an program again but this time it just wasn’t enough I had a dark fear for my life overcome with emptiness. I was clean 6 months when I found liz lee that day was the beginning of my life. When I moved in here and god began to work in my life things began to change and I was out of control of them , my thinking, my language , I started to get convicted , was able to start to forgive , my life is so different now and I know that has not even close to being done with me , I have a wonderful relationship with my children , johnathan is a totally different kid as well, I’m restoring the relationship with my mom, I’m going to college to be a drug and alcohol counselor , so that I can help lost souls like me find gods glory, so many things happening and all the glory goes to god, I believe that nothing happens on accident and god put liz in my life to show me why I was empty today I’m no longer Krystina an addict, I’m Krystina a child of god whose delivered from addiction.
ROMANS 7:18-19 says, I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.
For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do ,NO, the evil I do not want to do-this is what I keep doing. Now, if  I do what I do not want to do then it is no longer I who does it, it is sin living in me that does it… That was so true to who I was, and who I never want to be. I will leave you with my favorite verse, ROMANS 8:38-39 I’m convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that’s in Christ Jesus our Lord.